| Excess | ||
 |
||
|
Here's
a tiny sample of the madness.
At the library There's a sign demanding "No concealed weapons." Cabela's This huntin,' shootin,' and fishin,' supply shop is the size of a small city. From the tanks full of fishies waiting to become bait, to the extensive gun display, to the Olde Fudge Shoppe, it is disgusting yet compelling. We see a redneck buying a handgun whilst his little son looked on excitedly. We saw stacks of big game trophies decorating the place, including bison, wolves, lions, tigers, even a fucking elephant. Cinnabon Whilst transferring in Chicago, Simon notices that Cinnabon, Starbucks and McDonalds are listed as official amenities on the O'Hare airport signage, alongside passport control, baggage reclaim and exit. Headline Witness Says Bingo Operator Told Me I Was a Dead Man More Chicago Airport The toilets have automated plastic covered seats. You wave your hand in front of a sensor before you sit down and a new sleeve of plastic is threaded over the seat. When you get up another new sleeve slithers round. A sign nearby assured us that each cover is used only once and is then DESTROYED. Oxygen At the mall I trade in our two-for-one token from the paper and we snort up 20 minutes of artificially flavoured air at the new oxygen bar. I lie on an electric massage bed. A man puts headphones on me, he says that the music is very relaxing, "It's just like Enya." Shuttle buses You never have to walk anywhere. Shuttle buses take you from your hotel to the ballgame, from the airport to the car hire desk, from A to B. The Big Tyre Stands proudly by the I-94. It's the biggest tyre in the world. Some naughty people sneaked inside it. The Henry Ford A collection of visitor attractions, IMAX dumbness, and a couple of excessive museums. We saw the fabulous Dymaxion House, the car in which JFK had his brains blown all over Mrs Kennedy's pink suit, the Wienermobile, and I sat in Rosa Parks' seat on the very bus where she refused to move to the back. The guide told us about the bidding war between them and the Smithsonian for the bus. You can buy anything in America, if you have enough money. The Swan This is a cosmetic surgery makeover programme in which women compete to take part in a beauty pageant by getting themselves fixed. Aggressive cosmetic surgery adverts fill the breaks: "Thanks to my boob augmentation my husband threw away his Viagra!" ... "After my facelift my husband says I look younger than the woman he left me for!" Weird Roadkill There was a dead duck by the side of the interstate. It's little webbed feet were stiff, poking up in the air.  |
|
|
