| The
Fickle Finger of Fate (2.03) |
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| I
picked up this video when I was working at a place that was dissembling
its substantial film library. "Take anything from that pile," they
said, so I did. I was drawn to the tape solely by its title, which
has been an in-joke too involved to explain with one of my friends
for ages. There was no other information about the film on the box,
hell there was no box. If it was like any of the other features
I had seen from that collection I imagined it to be a difficult,
angst-ridden, arty, over-long independent from around 1992. The
tape sat around for six months, it hardly looked inviting. Last
night when I had nothing better to do, I decided to watch it. The Fickle Finger of Fate is not what I was expecting at all, it's a comedy thriller made in 1967 in Spain by Richard Rush. It stars Tab Hunter as Jerry Parker, an innocent man who gets caught up in an over-complicated plot to steal a pair of priceless ecclesiastical candlesticks. The film is as cornball as you like. There's a luggage switcheroo, well-signposted misunderstandings, stereotyped ethnic characters and lots of chasing and bumping into people. The best slapstick moment is when Tab bundles into two women at once and lands on top of them, like they're having a shag. There's an obvious villain, the birds are of the Carry On variety and there's farce a-plenty. If our hero used his brains for one moment he'd be out of the mess in a jiffy, but then there'd be no film. Tab Hunter is kind of weird in The Fickle Finger of Fate. I never realised how gay he was before, he's got these all-American boy looks and he's such a flaming queen! His character is supposed to be going back to New York to get married, but he's not fooling anyone. Tab's hands flap all over the place and he's got that sarcastic world weary tone in his voice that makes him sound like a wannabe ironic Katherine Hepburn. When asked to give his full name he says: "Parker, you know, as in Dorothy." He makes a joke about coming out of the closet. Wow, there's a whole gay subtext going on. Jerry/Dorothy Parker strikes up a funny friendship with Paco, played by Pedro Maria Sanchez, a good-looking adolescent street thief. They look out for each other, Jerry acting like a sugar-daddy to Paco. One of their key bonding scenes occurs behind a bush, where Paco explains, with the help of some rustic Spanish sausage how to catch a metaphorical ant. It's all a bit paedo actually. Mr Winkle, played by Luis Prendes, is the other person to look out for in The Fickle Finger of Fate. Mr Winkle! That's his name! When he's introduced there's a vague insinuation that he and Tab have slept together the night before. Meanwhile, it is no exaggeration to say that Mr Winkle is the most annoying, grating character I've ever seen in a film. He's just wrong. His voice is all gravely and strangely dubbed, he's always leaping out at Tab, his face doesn't match up, his mannerisms are inappropriate and all over the place, the things he says make no sense, he carries a strange club-like walking stick prop which is obviously a plot device. He's quite a sight to behold. The Rainbow Girls are also a sight to see. Chronically underdeveloped characters, they are six winners of a beauty competition who all wear faded colour-coded hairdos and outfits. They drink like crazy but only ever get tipsy. They're supposed to be love interests for Tab, but you can tell he's not really into it, being gay and all. The Rainbow Girls are gagging for him but they just have to make do with a dry kiss. Richard Rush, who made The Fickle Finger of Fate, went on to make other trashy movies, reaching career heights with Hell's Angels on Wheels starring Jack Nicholson, and Psych-Out, the primo psychedelic exploitation film. Later he scored a respectable hit with The Stunt Man, starring Peter O'Toole as a demented film director, which might have been based on Rush himself. I can understand why people get obsessive about obscuro B-movies and the actors in them. No wonder John Waters wanted Tab for Polyester. They just appear in your life one day, there's something about them which draws you in, and then you can't get them out of your head. You don't expect them to be good or entertaining, but they are. You wonder what happened to the forgotten actors who starred in them. You look out for them, just in case there's a screening, or a copy on video, or some information that will make sense of them for you. |
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