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Diggerland
is a themepark in a Simpsons style, ie. it has a simple theme that's
been stretched beyond belief. Everyone likes diggers, right? Diggerland gives you the opportunity to consumate your relationship with them. The idea is that you can drive real life diggers as long as you can reach the pedals, and it's okay to sit on an adult's lap and operate the handles if you're too young or short to do it by yourself. It's such a popular proposition that already there are three Diggerlands in the UK: one in Strood, Kent, one at Langley Park, County Durham, and one at Cullompton in Devon. So...you can dig a hole in a small digger, dig a bigger hole in a bigger digger, dig an enormo hole in an enormo-digger. You can ride around in a digger cradle, either high up in the sky, or round and round. If that's not enough excitement try driving a dump truck or let yourself be driven around in an all-terrain digger. Still bored? Test your digger skills by knocking over skittles or picking out ducks from a trough with a digger claw. There's a bouncy castle, an amusement arcade, the Dig Inn which sells kiddie-sized meals of dried up chicken nuggets and chips, and a gifte shoppe filled with junior digger paraphernalia. Oh yes, and don't forget the little pedal-powered diggers for the nippers. It's diggerlicious, or is that diggertastic? I should say that calling Diggerland a themepark is slightly misleading. The Strood location is basically a few acres of dusty hillside with four warehouse-sized prefab buildings housing the amenities. Oh well, at least it's authentic. Diggerland did actually look like a small building site and why waste money and time on lush landscaping when some five year old on a digger is only going to trash the place? Despite its apparent cheapness it's easy to spend a lot of money at Diggerland. An unlimited ride wristband costs £18 although you can buy strips of tokens more cheaply. It appears like some kind of an apology but each digger is accompanied by an information panel which states how much it might cost to buy one and it's no surprise to find out that they're very expensive. I wish they had similar panels at other themeparks. It's a Small World - one billion pounds, The Dollywood Smoky Mountain River Rampage - a kazillion Dolly Dollars! Anyway, the cost is superfluous because an £18 wristband buys a lot of kid fun and I'd say the pleasure of watching tiny children independently driving serious hardware is more or less priceless. I have to mention Metal Mickey. No, not the Metal Mickey of 80s television land, but Diggerland's very own mascot. I'm not sure what Metal Mickey is supposed to be, maybe an anthropormorphic digger, but he looks like a minimum-waged Diggerland underling in a weird inflated mascot outfit. It makes him wobble so much when he walks that he has to be led around by a foxy Diggerland-gal. Neverthless, everybody loves him, as they do all themepark mascots, and run over to hug him madly as soon as he appears. Apart from the uncool hugging Metal Mickey business, Diggerland is boy heaven. My nephews, aged four and seven, ate it up. If they were to write their wills tomorrow I imagine this is where they would want their ashes scattered. Kay and I clocked a couple of dykes encouraging some girl children to have a go, but Diggerland is guy-terrain. An afternoon here is like watching gender socialisation through time lapse photography. What lessons did we take away with us? Boys drive diggers and, hey, hard manual labour is fun! www.diggerland.com |
    
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